seriously now.

Floating slightly

2009-02-03T17:51:00.005+08:00

I think it's safe to say I'll update this space after I graduate. Just few more months Insyaallah :) Or maybe I'll publish the drafts that probably are full of cobweb now.

Thanks for checking by.

2008-12-31T00:56:00.016+08:00

although i really enjoyed working, it was time for me to start thinking about school again (although how i was not to think about school was quite impossible). it's just that i haven't touch my final year project (fyp) since the assessment day. and i want to resubmit it to my lecturer soon. argh, school is such a chore (i'll try not to rant so much this year insyaallah).

last day of work was like any other day, although the office was half full. a lot of people was on leave for christmas and extended it to the new year. luckily we had a company luncheon the week before, so i got to see everyone. they are quite a bunch (:

art director (also my supervisor), web designer, designer and design intern

i think i need to learn editing raw pictures. the above colours look horrible right? fir, help please.

last day of work
the day started like any other day, the auntie at the carpark toll greeted me enthusiastically when i passed by. i have noted her that day was my last day. when it was time to leave, she gave me a faux orange-y stalk of rose and pointed that she has another identical stalk right next to her drawer. it was all too cute (: few days before she gave me two piece of pineapple and grape flavoured jelly to thank the double slice of chocolate cake i had given her the day before. she is really so sweet, never fail to say hi and asked how my lunch were and all that. i have never thought of asking her name, but i do know that she has been working there for 13 long years. woho.

so you could imagine, i did a lot of clicking that day.

that's at the pantry. the only window in the office i can look out if my eyes got too tired. it's overlooking an old cemetery and the mosque. since my desk is two steps away from the pantry, i can smell coffee when my collegues are making thier cups everyday, yuum :D i'm going to miss a lot of things actually, but nothing unbearable i think. i'm going to miss the free flow of magazines, for example hehe. most importantly, i'm going to miss the view outside the office.

and the walk from the mrt station to the office. and the long walk for lunch as well. i love that i can choose tons of halal food place to go. but the others thought i was crazy to walk so far.

there's this rat that died on the pavement walkway near the station. scared me and my supervisor to death. i passed by it everyday, but i try to take another route after that. the dead rat was in the middle of the pavement and stayed there, i suppose, until now. it was already flat the last i saw. probably a bicycle ran on top of it. we can see the tiny feet and tail. it's really gross actually, but i couldn't get myself to move it to the side on the grass.

i'm going to miss the mosque too. if it's not for working there, i would never have stepped into it. it's such a cute mosque! initially i thought there isn't a place allocate for women.

so that's that. my name will appear in january issue of this! it's all very exciting for me. and the promotional posters i help designed will be on newstands and seven-eleven stores, i think. but one thing for sure, it will be blown up mural size at pasir ris. i've yet to check that out though. it's just a teeny thing but its something new for me :D

after work that day, i visited lisa at her workplace, which was at the heart of the CBD area. it is so different from my own workplace where everyone was dressed down with shorts, jeans and slippers. she bought me to the other part of the office that she's working in, and boyyy the view... awesome! i wish i could sit there and draw! it refreshing to be so high up and not be bothered with the hussle below. i was like a tourist in my own country! and lisa just laughed away (she's from china, btw). the corridor at the 36th floor was lined with huge paintings, it's really a different environment altogether.

and later that night, to end my last day of work (actually that's not the occasion at all), my mom and sisters and my elder sister's fiance had dinner at a seafood restaurant. it was my sisters treat. i stuffed myself silly.

our future, my friends.

2008-12-14T20:03:00.004+08:00

so i have this song stuck in my head (although i'm certain our diploma is not even close to that of csm's. hah).

via Gems Sty.

First seven days

2008-11-29T02:33:00.007+08:00

Grab the Nearest Book

2008-11-14T14:45:00.004+08:00

Book meme:

Grab the nearest book.
- Open it to page 56.
- Find the fifth sentence.
- Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
- Don’t dig for your favorite book, the cool book, or the intellectual one: pick the CLOSEST.

So here goes:

Today, each of the seven continents is still lined with classic overland routes.
- A Year of Adventures: A Guide to What, Where and When to do it.

via Meem.

put on a suit

2008-11-14T02:37:00.007+08:00

so i waited for a week only to be rejected, rather unceremoniously. failure, rejection part and parcel of life yada yada yada. but it's okay, at least the person who got the job is really good, you know. else i would feel really sucky :D so i told my dear opinionated cousin and mum, both reacted similarly. i doubt it, but apparently it is hard to ignore. if all else fails sings yori, i could put on a suit and look just like one of you. well, i am organized to be an assistant of some sort, so that could work. keep my options open, you know ;)

on another note, i just send another cousin off to cairo. at this rate, i'll probably be cousin-less at the end of the year.

Video mode, silly from Fika Hamidon on Vimeo.

***
second last haul for school. then Burden will be on holiday mode till next term starts, which is not till after new year.

amy

2008-11-09T20:22:00.003+08:00

i took printmaking class as an elective subject during my foundation year, which was nearly two years ago. i seriously think foundation year is the best time for me. there was this whole adapting issues but i genuinely enjoyed learning very much. it is so much fun. everything was practically new and interesting to me. time flies really fast, then suddenly you're expected to know everything. i'm not ready yet. i still want to learn, learning takes time. i don't want to be competitive right now; it is physically, mentally and emotionally draining.

i named this piece amy because i took amy search as a reference picture. i am not a fan but he had this really cool look on his face for that particular picture. it has this sad blue tinge but his eyes sparkle. also, he was on the magazine that i could bear to tear off the page. so i will have a soft spot for amy from now on cos he was one of my first few prints inspiration.

inspired by ninishasha

2008-11-08T13:05:00.004+08:00

november seventh, two thousand and eight (also happened to be last day of semester one of third year).

woke up at four thirty-ish in the morning, realised that accidentally slept while doing my work, thank Allah that i did not kick my mac, placed the said mac on the table next to my bed, replied my friend's text message, stayed awake for what seems like few solid minutes thinking about what i should do when i wake up later since i have not finish my work for printing and for friday's class.

slept again. woke up to my sister's annoying alarm clock this time, noticed it was after fajr prayer, wait for a while, saw parents in the living room sleeping, brush teeth, took abolution, prayed fajr, continue with work till around ten, ate raya cookies (eww right?) in between, drank HL chocolate milk, chewed ice cubes, showered, got dressed, talked to mum, talked to auntie who was on the phone with mum, salam-ed my mum, contemplating whether to bring umbrella, tried few shoes before settling with the new boots, took the bus, reply text messages and ate famous amos chocolate chip cookies while in the bus, alight at safra, took another bus to school, thankful that it was the double decker bus and picked my favourite seat on the left side of the bus, continue with text messaging, smiled at a guy that looks like my friend, looked out the window and keeping a mental reminder about the scenery for later photo shoot with shaz, thinking about missing today's "lesson".

told myself whatever happens are okay and beyond our control when it suddenly pour, regret not bringing umbrella, arrived at school's busstop, noticed the friend-look-alike also alight at the same busstop, tapped ez-link card and noticed card value was S$6plus, brisk walked to school despite the rain, smsed my friends, annoyed nobody replied, tried calling, enter printing shop, qued for five minutes and gave up, took lift to level two of school's wing A, was suppose to meet De but she went out for lunch, annoyed at self, asked K for help, jammed the printer, happy that work is printed, arranged work in a file.

hurried to simlim to meet friend, bumped into gab who was smoking infront of cheers, recci few shops for video cam, whine a little how unprepared i was for the interview later, showed friend to mosque, went student lounge to continue arranging work in file, sat close to two strangers talking about who to invite for her party of some sort, finished arranging work but realised haven't print resume, went to toilet, find corner to pray, went to second level again, met De for moral support, print resume, very optimistic and happy at that point of time, bumped into friend who happened to skip that day's class as well, imagining how the class look like with nobody, rushed to taxi stand, bumped into very cute crush in school, happy (to see cute crush and) that the taxi stand was empty, enter old taxi, sad that have no choice but to board the old taxi (old taxi makes me dizzy, it feels so light and floaty), uncle taxi was so very nice and polite and helpful, talked to uncle taxi until reached destination, uncle taxi wished me luck for interview, uncle taxi only took S$9, alight taxi, smiled and wished uncle taxi a good day.

visually imagining myself go there for work, feel a bit sad, enter building, ask receptionist about interview to no avail, annoyed at receptionist who dilly dally to attend to me, sat on a comfy couch before gathering the nerve to call interviewee, browse through few magazines and periodicals, got a bit excited, answered a call from cousin, ate orange flavoured clorex, called interviewee, read harper's bazaar, interviewee came, being told that i pronouced interviewee's name wrongly, directed to another part of the lobby (loads of bookshelves with books), shoke hands, start showing and talking about work (felt like boasting), being told that work starts exactly 8.15 till 6.03, finished interview and felt happy (and concerned).

followed instict finding the busstop, sweat like hell, convinced that paya lebar area is the hottest area in the whole of singapore, took bus to aunt's office, happy that there is a straight bus home, reached aunt's office and happy to see cousin Y, cousin A, h, cousin S, and others, talked and helped a little bit, lunch at arnold's with cousin Y, cousin A, h, and two other good boys, happy and full, fiddle around and highly impressed with friend's HD video cam, went back office, prayed asr, helped with some typings, install photoshop on the computers, teach cousin how to use photoshop, prayed maghrib.

cousin Y showed puncture marks in car seat, cousin Y drove cousin A and i home, went for a car wash first, carwash person smiled four times, answered a call from mum, got scold for forgetting to run an errand but later saved by my cousin Y, arrived home, chat with dad sister and cousin A, checked emails and usual blogs and sites, disappointed with few rejection emails, mum kissed before leaving for her weekend trip, chat with cousin A again, ate dinner while channel surf telly, annoyed nothing good on telly, sister shared story about bus customer being kicked out of bus and was left in the middle of the expressway, amused with ridiculousness, prayed, showered and changed, and "slept".

woke at twelve thirty a.m. as cousin Y called, cousin A, sister and i got dressed, cousin Y picked us up at one, rants and rants in the car, reached destination and wait for friend J's bus from malaysia.

all five of us to downtown east for a movie, surprised that some people watch madagascar at nearly two in the morning, bought tickets for quatum of solace, mochas, tea, and sweet popcorns (which turned out to be a big mistake because the sugar make us more awake than ever), enjoyed movie very much, thought daniel craig's walk is so handsomely hot and that pierce brosnan was a mistake, discussed movie in car ride home, took turns using the loo, went to macDonalds for breakfast, a lot of talking and laughing in between, cousin Y send us home afterwards, reached home, prayed fajr and sleep.

the day after was spent recovering from the lack of sleep and extreme lethargicness. but all was fun and well.

bittersweeeeet

2008-11-02T02:27:00.022+08:00

just when i told myself no more airports, no more farewells already; i get to know another favourite cousin is flying off on the fourteenth. i am so excited for him, for whatever adventure and knowledge that awaits him there. the past august saw a lot of people that i know and love going overseas.

i think usually part of the reason that it is so sad is cause everytime i send somebody off, i feel like i'm being left behind (and quite literally too). i am thankful right now with whatever life has to offer for me here, but often it feels so suffocating.

i. cannot. breathe.

the school system here is vigorous. or maybe it is not, maybe i'm just finding excues to not do well. really, my creative juice is drying. (i want to do something i like already!) and i cannot imagine how job hunting for me would be next year, with what the economic crisis. of course i pray that it'll be better next year but you know anything can happen. i'm not saying life overseas will be smooth sailing and sweet smelling, i think i just need a little change. i don't mind going away for work or school, it doesn't matter. even for holiday maybe. i talked so much of going somewhere, anywhere, all the time that people around me probably get sick hearing (hehe sorry :D) i have never ever experience studying abroad. the longest i've been overseas was two weeks or so. i only hear and read about people's experiences and always in awe. when do i get to have stories of my own too! i love travel. i am hungry (roaaaaar) for stories of some sort. (which reminds me, i have some pictures posted on my flickr from my short ulu langat trip.)

click picture for a bigger view. i put together four pictures any-o-how.

the thing about sending people off at the airport is you have to be prepared. in the case of like the picture above, being prepared of crowds. and be mentally prepared of course, so you don't get hysterical infront of the said crowds. it can get quite embarrasing.

and when you see people crying and hugging, it's just... i don't know. the hair at the back of my neck usually stands. a rush of emotions just pulled whatever energy i have left. then i don't hold them tears back at just let it flow. it's just much much easier. but it is draining and tiring, crying is. i cannot quite figure out what my mind is doing when i cry, what it is (i was) thinking.

yesterday i went to the airport three freaking time. i was so pro with sending people off already, no more crying. nah, not exactly. i didn't know the people well enough that's why. but that's not really true either. most of the time i can't help it... i mean when you see a mother hugging her son, closing her eyes and then her tears start to wet her cheeks... the image just reflects emotion that is just so so real and raw. you can just feel it, you know. it's like the most basic connection of all, a mother and child. so to see the two part is very wrecking. parting is such sweet sorrow.

that is why, i talk to my mum about going overseas every possible opportunity i have (hehe). i want to get her prepared, see. but she probably don't mind anyway, my mum has two other daughters. nothing to loose really.

yesterday i had visitors too. my aunts and uncle came and we were finding words to write on a birthday card to be passed to my cousin in egypt via my sister's friend who was flying off. it's funny i feel cos these are the kind of things we wouldn't normally do. who sends cards anymore? (well, i do, but not as frequent) i love whatever it is now, being distant, in a way, no matter how weird it sounds. only recently i've added loads of my cousins on my msn, i write to them, i send them cards, i think about them more. when you think about them more, you pray for them more. so that's always great. even when you're in the same place, we're all so occupied with our own little lives, we barely get to see each other anyway.

so yeah, my cousin will turned 21 soon. so we prepared cards and cookies for him. i got a little teary eyed reading his mum's message. she really chooses her words well.

of all the things, he wanted 3ply packet tissues, isn't that the weirdest request? anyway, we called him and passed around the phone and i went online and tried to make a video call. everyone, let's start using skype. msn for mac sucks.

the first is us in spore. second is my cousin; my uncle kept insisting he turn on another light because initially we couldn't see him. and yeah that's faritz in the last one. my cousin, he and others were having a study group or something. (:

going to the airport is not all teary, sad and mushy. it can be quite fun too. infact, it is almost always fun for me. the "camping" at the airport and all that. and sending people off means meeting the other people; those people that i know but rarely see. like seeing them once in a few years, that kinda rare. like yesterday, i saw my high school classmate for the first time in nearly 3 years. i am only nineteen years young, so three years is quite a long time.

and of course, there's the post-send off treat... just to be around with family and friends are great. with farewells, you appreciate each others company more.

(:

my english teacher said:

2008-10-12T12:18:00.002+08:00

"...marry someone who loves you, not someone you love."

some of my friends thought differently though; "marry someone who loves you more!"

gems

2008-10-06T02:19:00.009+08:00

i have always admire a person with wit and charm. haji here have both. and a great sense of humour at that too. he is such a pleasure to talk to. i can't wait to develop this picture and send it to him. it is kinda exciting, snail-mailing is.

what touches my sisters and i so much was the fact that he could remember the exact book he had when we came for visit the year before. it was a lonely planet library book. memory; it is definitely weird and unique. don't think we will ever understand them fully! i was reading a lot more about diseases concerning memories after i watched the notebook sometime back (i am saddened that ryan and rachel split up, again!). it really is fascinating... and really scary.

ted has really great library of videos that are interesting and inspirational. this particular one is of jill bolte taylor talking about the time she had a stroke. there's just something about the way she delivers...

my eid

2008-10-03T02:35:00.010+08:00

of course if what my dear 'alima wrote in her blog about her first eid in syam is any likely to be true (pffft :p) then in a million years can my eid in singapore ever beat hers! nay not jealous... just SUPER jealous. i'm going to spend my ramadhan and eid with y'all there next year, so stay put okay!

***

routine visit to both grandparents home, but this year i didn't even used up a single memory card! anybody who knows me well would know i never ever delete and almost always take picture multiburstly. so this is major! i'm quite surprised myself. fat chance with the film camera. i think i was just not in the mood :|

however, i do have some photos to share:

bapak was so worried (for lack of better word) that my uncle would dirty his white baju kurung, so he suggested the apron! hilarious.

a lot of laughter basically.

and my super awesome cousins who cannot make the day any less joyous.

gotta help each other look pretty y'know.

that's bapak and that was my cheeky cousin's hand with the money packets. i NEVER have good portrait shots of myself. it is either blurry or my sis trying to be funny, like this one, she cropped half of my face.

big boy muhammad getting ready to visit his other grandparents'.

and of course, the must have family shots.

and this one is of my relatives from malaysia. i never put my hand up for journey prayers..! my uncle was leading the prayers i think. i so admire this!

bapak on sphagetti

2008-10-03T02:05:00.007+08:00

my grandfather, who i call bapak, cracked me up so much. i can be very sad, and be all smiley next second if i think about him. he probably didn't realize how much he means to me! anyway i have to share this, even if it doesn't make any sense to you! but it sure was funny when my sis recalled it back to me.

this was during first day eid. my dad was in the living room watching tv when bapak asked him:

bapak: midon [refering to my father] tak makan eketip?
tim [my sis, who happened to be there too]: huh?
bapak: eketip
tim: huh? ape tu?
bapak: alaaa eketip. mee tu yang ada kat dapur.
tim: oh, sphagetti lah pak.
bapak: ah pagetip. makan lah.

observing ramadhan

2008-09-29T01:17:00.003+08:00

you guys should really check this link out about observing ramadhan in pictures. its brilliant. how we all (at least i do) wish we have the eye to see and take such splendid pictures. i suppose its about opportunity... and maybe one could argue about the how good the camera is?

comfort zone

2008-09-25T01:13:00.002+08:00

thank you wano for the last two pics (: (eh my hands look huge kan!)

shamelessly i admit i'm really lovin' the black and white and muted editings. perhaps i'll take out my film camera for the upcoming eid. i must make a mental reminder to get some expired films. and i wanna try holga and lomo and medium format! sigh. and i really wanna try using leica. guy berryman makes it look so hot. and nikon's d90, woah super tempting. check this out too. back on planet earth, i'm just saving for 50mm portrait lens :(

but most of all, i'm really excited about the tutu shoot. so first, i should probably pick up the tutu! i trust the make up will be in good hands, rockstar? so that's checked. now... i need assistant, any takers?

***
sorry i sidetracked a little. i actually wanted to say how much i enjoyed meeting up with you all (probably the only three-four girls who frequent my site; alims you were with us albeit only through our hearing sense! ;p). i can't believe i don't know how to operate my handphone for loud speaker!! one cannot get any sillier right? but maybe it was a good thing, else the whole place would talk to you too. i can tell you were smiling ear to ear anyways. hope the entrance test went well and hope that less than 7min phonecall cheer your day (:

i really wanted to remember all of shaz's jokes! half of what's left of my secondary school memories are those concerning the nightmarish system and being insanely scared for physics. i can get rather pessimistic these days. i can't believe i forgot about being a part of a (successful) plan to wake a certain sleepyhead in class, and man am i proud of how ungossipy i was back then or what! ;) having said that though, i can't believe i didn't know about the faisol joke before! seriously! i feel so sorry to have the funniest joke at the expense of others but its nice to know our sense of humor is still the same. sort of. haha.

it is always so much fun to see how much we have grown, i mean eventhough we haven't really change much in the maturity area. but what's the rush right? lol. really... artsy fartsy eel, rockstar shaz (complete with the attitude), The Content Dya and wano with the new bf (did i just typed that??) (:

i don't think i can really express how much you girls mean to me, and how very well i wish you all. shaz, don't skip school please. i'm trying to do the same too. a bad attempt, but an attempt nevertheless. it is improving, if you must know! hehe.

it's funny...

2008-09-09T21:35:00.004+08:00

(and dangerous) how sometimes you can feel this way one minute...

and these the next... (i am at this stage right now, by the way)
a weekly dose of the smart cartoon that we all (well, at least if you're a woman) can (easily) relate to, by Cathy Thorne.

hugs and kisses to all

2008-09-09T20:29:00.003+08:00

"...please do your best to better the world, yourself and spread some love to all the people around you. life is too short, lets be the change we want to see. every soul has a purpose for being here."

factory

2008-09-07T12:43:00.008+08:00

i printed nearly 700plus pictures the other day. it was such a nightmare to sort! i dunno how it happened, but i'm the official family photographer, i think. yeah that must be it.

and another engagement.

2008-08-31T20:33:00.005+08:00

first engagement session (:

2008-08-30T16:10:00.004+08:00

i think vimeo looks better than youtube

2008-08-28T10:44:00.004+08:00

Climbing "Uhud" from Fika Hamidon on Vimeo.

both videos are from the same original source. supposedly converted for best view in youtube. hm.

try and listen

2008-08-01T23:10:00.004+08:00

the art of listening.

you listen generously and keep quiet when others are talking. close your mind from the voices at the back of your head. then when it is your turn, speak reasonably.

- anisa mehdi